Annoying Collaborators

Swami Nikhilaananda said:

"He who sugarcoats, sugarcoats for a reason"

This has happened not once, not twice... Ok, don't ask me how many times this has happened, for I have lost count. And the problem is, it happens a lot. Either I have gullible sucker written on my forehead, or .... well, it's got to be the gullible sucker thing.

The other day, I had been to a mall with a friend of mine, and while I was waiting till my friend got back from a shop, this gentleman who was waiting for his friend to get back decided to begin a conversation with me just to pass time, till they got back. I was getting bored waiting, and so decided to listen to what he was saying. This man spoke very polished English, seemed sophisticated and smart. He began by talking about the weather and traffic, and later told me what he was doing and asked me what I was doing. He told me that he was working at Honeywell. You might be wondering how long this conversation must have lasted - not over five minutes. He then said that we must stay in touch and asked me for my phone number... Now this is the place where it gets awkward, because I didn't want to say "I don't give my number out to strangers" (An attitude I am now going to change) and so I gave him my number. He gave me a missed call, and I didn't save it. Who cares? Right? My friend came along and asked me who he was, as he went away with his friend, giving me a cheerful wave. I said, "I have no clue, some guy I saw" and I was looking at the "How long was I gone?" expression.

Well, soon enough, as expected, I got a phone call from him two days later. He reminded me that he was the guy I met in the mall, and I said "Oh yeah..." He then said "So, basically the reason I wanted to get in touch with you is because I am doing a business apart from my regular work, along with some friends of mine who are from IITs and IIMs. We are looking for some really bright, intelligent and enterprising people to collaborate with us on this, so that we can improve people relations [insert loads of more blah blah] and that really adds a lot to the regular income. You seemed like a really smart and enterprising guy, so I was wondering if you might be interested to join us"

My brain analysed this as:

Ok, he is flattering me - meaning, it is something unpleasant, and is definitely a trick somewhere. He judged me to be really smart and enterprising in the five minute conversation that was about weather, traffic and companies. He used key words "IIT and IIM" just to add credibility. He used key words 'People Management' - and all of this adds up to...[drum roll] You guessed it - Amway and Ebiz.

So, these pyramid schemes are some of the most annoying things that exist. Suckers are pulled into it (ironic, considering they are suckers) all the time, and once they realise that they have been had, they try to look for more suckers. I quickly told him "Is this anything to do with Amway or Ebiz?" and he paused and said "Yeah, as a matter of fact, it is to do with Amway. Any particular reason that you are asking this?" and I said "Yeah, I am not interested, thank you" and he cut the call.

I have got so many calls from so many random people - they talk, take my number (which I continue to give for some freaking reason - Note to self: stop handing out number to strangers) and then they call up as if they called, you know, to just talk - and then they use the same rehearsed sentences. It's uncanny... Every single guy says "IIT, IIM, People Relationship, Smart, Enterprising, Collaborate, Business"

The next time someone calls me with this, I am definitely going to ask them if they seriously think that this ploy will ever work for them. As for you guys, don't fall for this. Just cut the call.

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Comments from Facebook

Chiranth Ashok

Glad somebody finally said this... can't believe all those ppl from "iit" and "iim" fell for that though...

Prashanth Harshangi

Swami Gulugulu said - "He who pees, pees for a reason"

Poornima Rao

the name says it all.. CHRONICLES:P

Skanda Guruanand

Hey! I dont know if its the same guy. I also got a call today, infact for the 2nd time in the past few months. Same story of iits and iims.

Nikhil Baliga

Must be the same guy - I got a call today too, and so I decided to "Chronicle" it :)

Skanda Guruanand

Good :)

Poornima Rao

look him up on FB and see if there is MARK AS SPAM option next to him:P

Nikhil Baliga

Haha, I would - Too bad I didn't listen to his name this time either.

Mithun Shroff

Its happened to me too..! I'm sure there are a lotta people who can relate to this..

P.S: I really like your writing style.. You should contemplate on writing a small story or a book (if you haven't already)

Nikhil Baliga

Thanks a lot Mithun :)

Madhura Basavaraju
enjoyed reading this :)

Amod Kumar Pandey
Poor you! But don't share your number like that.

Susheela Sadashivaiah
general impt gyaan..well written :)

Mahesh Saka
hehe, well written.. but good that you've realized those quickly.. I was almost into when I could just prevent that happening :)
and, yes, share mobile no. with them, but not yours, your enemy's ;)

Nikhil Anand
i never said tht ..i said "She who sugarcoats, sugarcoats for no reason"..:P:P:P

Nikhil Baliga
hahahahaha :D Nikhil Anand, what a coincidence :P